alina Ştefănescu

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"Fraudulent artifacts": over 150 artifacts forms for prose

Alina Stefanescu

Fakes: An Anthology of Pseudo-Interviews, Faux-Lectures, Quasi-Letters, Found Texts, and Other Fraudulent Artifacts, edited by David Shields and Matthew Vollmer, is hot in my head right now.  Shields and Vollmer define “fraudulent artifacts” as “a text purporting to be a particular form of writing… which also tells a story, stirs thoughts and emotions, inspires inquiry, initiates action, and/or calls into question that which is—or has purported to be—real.”

Here's the frame:  An artifact is by definition an object constructed by a human being. Every artifact arises from a series of decisions taken by its maker. These artifacts are governed by social conventions and how we use or abuse them, how we fill the box. Conventions are nothing if not a way to create expectations. These expectations are a primary tool in the writer’s arsenal.

A fraudulent artifact infuses a received form with a story, thus creating an object “more authentic than the original upon which it was based.” The deceptiveness is self-reflexive as well as confessional.

Notice where risks can be taken in each form or genre and then "redraw the limitations." Use the form as vehicle to carry narrative. Make sure artifact reveals something about the narrator, generally the maker of the artifact. And, if you're smart, read the introduction to the book online in PDF for free, where the authors lay this out more cogently. 

Over 150 Extensive Artifact Forms for Fiction or Nonfiction

 Note: This isn't exhaustive. And many could fall under multiple categories. 

HOW-TO GUIDES & INSTRUCTION MANUALS

"How To Become a Writer" by Lorrie Moore
"A Guide to Fooling Yourself" by Lauren Schenckman
"How to Date a White Guy" by Naira Kuzmich
"How to Measure Your Breast Size" Laura Madeline Wiseman
"How to Skin a Bird" by Chelsey Biondollilo
"How to Be Another Person in 5 Days" by Rebecca Bernard
"How to Explore a Graveyard" by Lindsey Palka
"A Manual for Surviving an Accidental Drowning" by Cait Powell (safety manual)
"Installing Linux in a Dead Badger" by Lucy A. Snyder
"Instructions for Extinction" by Melanie Rae Thon
"Confirmation" by Kristina Ten (religious instructional)
"After Your Milk Comes In" by Lauren Goodwin Slaughter (sleep training guide)
"Parenting 101" by Chella Courington (parenting how-to)
"The Etiquette of Adultery" by Tara Laskowski
“The Instructions” by Eric D. Anderson
“Rudderless Fiction: Lesson One” by Rick DeMarinis
”The Putti” by Shelley Jackson
Marriage manual (see Stanley Crawford's Some Instructions to My Wife...)
Housekeeping manual
Social story or social prompt for ASD persons
"Travel Tips" by Manuel Martinez
"Elevator Pitches" by Jonathan Lethem (elevator pitches for movies)
"Prayer for Alien Abductees" by Rob Kenagy (liturgical form)
"Rules and Regulations for Benehmen!, the German Board Game of Discipline" by Teddy Wayne (board game rules)
"A Game of Clue" by Steven Millhauser (board game rules)

INTERVIEWS OR PROFILES

"Brief Interviews with Hideous Men" by David Foster Wallace
"Interview With a Moron" by Elizabeth Stuckey-French
"Office Women: Three Portraits and Thirteen Questions" by Clare Polders
"The Explanation" by Donald Barthelme
”The Lawrence Quint Interview” by Charles Baxter
”An Explanation for Chaos” by Julie Schumacher
”On Not Growing Up” by Ben Marcus
Immigration interview
Any one of Michael Martone's illustrious third-person bios
"Unauthorized Biography" by John Yua (informal bio)

CLASSIFIEDS

"Single Woman for Long Walk on the Beach" by Ron Carlson
"Will Babysit for Little $$$$" by Ben White
"Writer Michael Martone's Leftover Water" by Patrick Madden (an Ebay listing)
"Selected Personals from the American Psychiatric Association's Dating Website" by Frank Ferri
Robin Hemley's "Reply All" by Robin Hemley (listserve)
Advertorials
Missing pet flyer
Missing person poster
Obits 

EPISTOLARY FORMS

"A Novel in Nine Letters" by Fyodor Dostoevsky
"Letters to Jim Harrison" by Sean Lovelace
"To Whom It May Concern" by Michael Sheehan (open letter)
"Dear Committee for the Socialization of Illegal Aliens" by yours truly (letter to government agent)
"Love Poems for the Border Patrol" by Amitava Kumar
"Letter to my love" by Tif Holland (love letter)
"Why, Honey?" by Raymond Carver (love letter)
"Possible Postcards from Rachel, Abroad" by David Shields (potential postcards)
"Postcard from the Bum House" by Stephanie Dicksinson(postcard)
"Dear Fiction Editor" by Kyle Brown
"A Cover Letter From an Art Major Seeking a Job That Literally Requires Him to Apply the Skills He Learned in School" by Oyl Miller (cover letter)
"Reference #388475848-5" by Amy Hempel (traffic ticket correspondence)
"Letter to a Funeral Parlor" by Lydia Davis (customer complaint)
"Shrinkology" by Sea Sharp (customer complaint)
"Letters to Wendy" by Joe Wenderoth (novel as epistolary series addressed to a business establishment)
"I Can Speak!" by George Saunders (product refund request)
"Apology #9: Not About the Toaster" by Edward Hardy
"Letter to Stephen Hawking" by Samantha Hunt (fan mail)
"The San Diego Snake Company's September Newsletter" by Meg Favreau (newsletter)
"A Memory of the Christ by the Apostle John" by Adam McOmber (religious epistle)
"The Book of John" by Stephen Yuan (biblical epistle)
"Diary of the Blockage" by Amelia Gray (diary)
"Editorial Notes From Your Twitter Troll" by Orli Matlow (editorial notes)
Break-up letter
Recommendation letter
Rejection letter
Sympathy card
Congratulations card
Notebook entries
Wedding announcement
Email correspondence
Twitter dialogue or twitter DM chat

ACADEMIC ASSIGNATIONS, ASSIGNMENTS, SYLLABI, & VARIOUS PAPERS

"Prospectus" by Amie Barrondale
"It Looks Like This" BY Caitlin Horrocks (high school essay)
"How I Contemplated the World from the Detroit House Of Correction and Began My Life Over Again" by Joyce Carol Oates (English class essay)
"Writing Prompts for Girls and Women" by Leigh Stein (writing prompts)
"Book Report" by Jenna Lee (book report)
"Reading Comprehension" by Peter Cherches (assignment)
"Have You Ever?" by Ian Frazier (assignment)
"Conjugate "to be", using complete sentences" by Ani King (grammar exercise)
"Impressions and Preliminary Maxims Gleaned From Teaching High School English" by Will Slattery
"The Professor of Longing" by Jill Talbott (syllabus)
Mike Topp's "Stuyvesant Bee #88" by Mike Topp (high school newspaper)
Will Slattery, "Impressions and Preliminary Maxims Gleaned From Teaching High School English"
"The Preliminary Notes" by Rick Moody (notes on teaching)
“A Field Guide to the North American Bigfoot” by Ben Greenman
"The Instrumental Side of Human Communication" by Wendy Brenner (conference presentation)
"Zeno's Paradsox (of which he had several)" by David Jose Villaverde (summary of concept in philosophy or rhetoric)
"Key Concepts in Ecology" by Michelle Ross
"The Varieties of Romantic Experience: An Introduction" by Ron Cohen (psych course lecture)
"Poetic Template for Introducting a Featured Bard" by David Alpagh (introduction)
School journal
Science project description
Book review
White paper
Field report
Analysis of intital conditions

SCIENCE, MATH & THEORETICAL MEASUREMENTS

"Phantoms" by Steven Millhauser (case study)
"Problems for Self-Study" by Charles Yu (theorizing conceputual physics)
"Let X" by Chad Simpson (math theorem and notes)
"Variant Table" by Elizabeth Wade
"The Pain Scale" by Eula Bliss (scale of measurement)
"Mouths" by Steven Zultanski (statistical compendium)
"Demonectomy" by Lish Troha (description of medical prodecure)
"The Heart As Torn Muscle" by Randall Billings Noble (description of medical condition)
"Update" by Nels Hanson (medical history)
Medical discharge report
Psych evaluation
”A Primer for Punctuation of Heart Disease” by Jonathan Safran Foer
"Drug Facts" by Lauren Trembath-Neuberger (drug reference)

SPEECHES AND LECTURES

Keynote speech 
Political stump speech
Lecture notes

EXHIBITS

"The Extinction Museum: Exhibit #71 (flap of lichen preserved between two panes of glass)" by Tina May Hall (museum exhibit brochure)
"1001 Xanadus" by Malcom Sutton and Francois Lemieux (ancient text)
"Artist Statement #64" by James Bradley (artist statement)

LEGAL DOCUMENTS AND REPORTS

“Will and Testament” by Matthew Vollmer
"Vis a Vis Love" by Mieke Eerkins (marital contract or prenup)
"Appeal" by Mike DiChristina (legal appeal)
Rich Ives' "Declarations of Attendance"
Estate inventory
Divorce decree
Police report
Security incident report
Noise complaint
Suspicious wildlife activity report
Suspicious activity report
Workplace employee assessment
Nonprofit donor report
Nonprofit request for funding application
Business plan

REFERENCE & PARATEXTS

"The Year's Best Fiction 2008: The Authors Speak" by J. Robert Lennon (anthology)
"Acknowledgement" by Michel Martone (acknowledgements)
"Table of Contents" by Lance Olsen (table of contents)
"The Year's Best Fiction 2008: The Authors Speak" by J. Robert Lennon (anthology)
"Acknowledgement" by Michel Martone (acknowledgements)
"JoAnna Novak" by Joanna Novak (third person bio)
"Liner Note" by Jonathan Lethew (liner note)
"A Note on the Type" by Ben Greenman (liner note)
"Contributor's Note" by Michael Martone (contributor's note)
"Disclaimer" by David Means (disclaimer)
"Dildo" by Shirley Jackson (description or explanation)
"History" by R. M Berry (introduction)
"Introduction" by Ben Greenman (introduction)
Enclyclopedia entry
Wikipedia entry

INDEXES ETC.

"The Index" by J.G. Ballard (index)
"An Index of How Our Family Was Killed" by Matt Bell (index)
"Words for Snow" by Jil Talbot (lexicon)
"Glossary of Chain Accidents" by Temim Fruchter (glossary)
"Primary Sources" by Rick Moody (annotations)
"excerpts from a dictionary of coincidences, vol. i" by Sean Brijbasi (dictionary)
"The People Catalogue" by Michael Parris Lee (compendium)
"Compendium of Chinese Ghosts, Part I & II" by Elaine Chiew (compendium)

Web and social medias

Rob Wittig's"The Fall of the Site of Masha" by Rob Wittig (website)
"Mr. Plimpton's Revenge" by Dinty W. Moore (google map)

  1. Facebook post with comments

  2. Spam

  3. Nextdoor.com post

  4. Internet banner

  5. YouTube comment

  6. Subreddit chat transcript

  7. Travel guide or intinerary

Surveys, self-help and questionnaires:

  1. Dwaine Rieves' "The Animal; Questionnaire 1"

  2. Customer satisfaction survey

  3. Mary Kay Jordan Fleming's "Parent Readiness Quiz"

    "Questionnaire" by John Yau

  4. Claudia Cortese's “Origin Story” and “Answer Key to Origin Story”

  5. Nancy McCabe, "Can This Troubled Marriage Be Saved?: A Quiz"

  6. Art Taylor's "Master the Art of French Cooking" (recipe)

  8. Colin Nissan's "It's Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers" (seasonal advice column)

  9. Heather Murphy's "To Reduce Your Likelihood of Murder" (safety tips)

Transcripts or minutes:

  1. TV transcript

  2. Dictation transcript

  3. Informational video transcript

  4. Phone text transcript

  5. Neighborhood garden club monthly minutes

Memoirs and bio forms

Captain's log
Pilot's log
Amber Sparks' "The Noises from the Neighbors Upstairs: A Nightly Log" 
Travel diary
"Tunings, Counterfactuals" by Michelle Herman (memoir)
Dream journal

David Shields' "Life Story"

John Barth's "Life-Story"

Eulogy
Epitaph

Kevin Brockmeier's "The Jesus Stories" (holy scriptures)

Resume

Various lists

  1. Ingredient list

  2. Menu or meal plan

  3. Spotify playlist

  4. Kelle Groom's "25 Reasons to Attend the Gala"

  5. Lea Page, "Things I Did After Each of 32 Rejections"

  6. Kathyrn Lipari's "12 Things I Can Tell You About Cutting"

  7. Rich Ives' "Improperly Used Tools of Parenting"

  8. Matthew Williamson's "Discarded Notions"

  9. Meg Pokrass' "To-Do List"

  10. Sofi Stambo's "Lists" (shopping lists)

  11. Deb Olin Unferth’s “Things That Went Wrong Thus Far”

  12. Dennard Dayle's "Recent Activity" (credit card statement)

  13. Kristen Iskandrian's "Remarks My Immigrant Mother Has Made About Babies"

  14. Jack Pendarvis' "Our Spring Catalog" (publisher's catalog)

Other must-reads in my innovative fiction craft bible:

 

Random promptings

And a few things I've never seen which may possibly exist but would still be very cool to read at some point:

  1. Retirement community newsletter

  2. Application for political asylum

  3. Eviction notice

  4. Currency transaction report for withdrawal or deposit of large sum at bank

  5. Hobby Lobby supply room inventory

  6. Hobby Lobby secret abortion fund

  7. Hobby Lobby Recovery Group minutes

  8. GoFundMe profile

  9. Mall parking lot prophecy

  10. World of Warcraft guild rules

  11. Personal fitness goals questionnaire

  12. Ketosis and Halitosis report

  13. "20 epigraphs I almost put in a poetry chapbook before I stopped huffing bath salts"

  14. Notes from a Roy Moore sermon

  15. Conscious uncoupling announcement (see Gwenyth Paltrow and Chris Martin for possible template)

  16. "Suspicious wildlife activity report from Lifeway in Nashville, Tennessee"

  17. "List of fortune cookie fortunes that actually happened"

  18. Product recall for specific translation of Bible

  19. "Why I didn't graduate" graduation speech transcript

  20. Amazon.com wedding registry

  21. "Writing Retreat That No One Can Afford" application

  22. 22 things you did instead of writing a memoir

  23. 21 things you did instead of telling your spouse the truth

  24. 20 ways to protest Trump while shopping for groceries at your neighborhood Piggly Wiggly

 

Where to submit

And, of course, it's always a tough call when deciding where to submit your innovative form fiction. Some literary magazines nurture a special affinity for formal and genre innovations. Take the time to learn more about the editors and the landscape. Then pick your best piece and roll the dice.