Sometimes I kiss my idols

Like this poem by Czeslaw Milosz, written in Warsaw, 1944. One of those poems that walks with me.

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And today I was fumbling through another project, needing a breath, a step back from it, and what better way to stroll than to copy Milosz’s stride? It’s one of my favorite ways to stretch into spaces I don’t know how to write. To try on a voice and see and what happens.

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And now back to the page….

The third day of nightmares with mom

We talk about how to love
the dead without killing them
again, and again in our
minds, with our mouths.

I swear we will love you
as you were, and not as we
made you in our wishes
for the average
accommodation, that
american sitcom mom.

We will love you without
erasing the unpopular
hysteria of your embrace

or the final foaming
followed by silence—
and those sirens
we couldn’t hear
across an ocean.

That nothing
did not spare us.

Open Letter to the Trustees of the "Amy Lowell Scholarship for American Poets Travelling Abroad"

William A. Lowell, Esq.
Charles A. Cheever, Esq. 
Choate, Hall & Stewart
Two International Place
Boston, Massachusetts 02110

October 10, 2019

Dear Mr. Lowell and Mr. Cheever,

One of the greatest things about America is the fact that, as citizens, we pledge our allegiance not just to a flag but to a hope of a better future, to building that future over this country’s history of racism, enslavement of Black persons, and native erasure. Since recent years have demonstrated reactionary regress inspired by xenophobia and America-First mentalities, I am writing this letter in the hope that you will consider the legacy that the Amy Lowell Scholarship leaves by basing it's application criteria so intensely (and profusely) around defining "Americans" as those citizens who were "born here."

As a child of defectors who was born in Romania, my experience growing up in Alabama was that of being told no matter how much I learned, no matter how passionate my academic and intellectual engagement, I could not be President of this country. My thoughts on leadership didn’t matter. My citizenship, itself, reflected my second-class status. Meanwhile, my neo-Confederate friends could lead the Chambers of Commerce and state governments with an eye to the Presidency.

I've been inspired by the poetry community's dedication to human rights, equality, and justice, and I am concerned about the way that huge funding is still off-limits to poets who were not born here and yet have paid their lives, their tax dollars, and their dreams to this country.

The "Amy Lowell Scholarship for American Poets Travelling Abroad" seems, on its surface, to be driven by considerations of merit. It asks for a poetry submission without focus on byline or academic background. It also states, clearly, "preference" will be "given to those of progressive literary tendencies". 

At no point does it ask about financial disability or previous travel (which would be appropriate questions if the intent of the scholarship was to reward untraveled Americans citizens without means to go abroad).

The application process is free and simple. All that is required is:

  1. Two copies of the completed application. You may also, but need not, submit a 2 to 3 page curriculum vitae (again, two copies).

  2. A sample of your poetry, consisting of either up to 40 typed pages (two copies) or two copies of a printed volume of your poetry and two copies of no more than 20 additional typed pages.

I don’t understand how a traveling scholarship intended to benefit underprivileged American poets doesn’t require any of the following: 1) a listing of their prior travels outside the country 2) a statement of their economic need 3) any evidence tha…

I don’t understand how a traveling scholarship intended to benefit underprivileged American poets doesn’t require any of the following: 1) a listing of their prior travels outside the country 2) a statement of their economic need 3) any evidence that they are better qualified to represent “Americans” than the sheer luck of being born here.

When I downloaded the application, I discovered that it asked for a birth certificate and that the primary information culled on that one sheet of paper had to do with where a citizen was born. As stated in your FAQ: 

"Any poet of American birth who is able and willing to spend one year outside the continent of North America. There is no age requirement, and there is no requirement that applicants be enrolled in a university or other education program. While many recent winners have been published poets, there is no requirement that applicants have previously published their work."

Past recipients of this fellowship include several of my favorite poets--writers whose work I cherish deeply. But past recipients reflect a very narrow view of “American”.

I believe that Amy Lowell would not be on the side of human beings who currently agitate to diminish the value and rights of naturalized US citizens and immigrants.

I believe that Amy Lowell would be disgusted by the Birther conspiracy around President Obama and its resonance in our popular culture. If I am wrong in these beliefs, Amy Lowell's poetic excellence would not be enough to enable me to overlook a definition of "American citizen" that excludes naturalized citizens.

At first, I considered suggesting a more appropriate title for this fellowship. Maybe it’s the title that feels jarring. For example, "The Amy Lowell Travelling Scholarship for Native-Born Americans"--but that's the rub, isn't it? See, those who are actually native to America are not centered in this Fellowship. (I could be wrong, but it seems that fewer than 5% of awardees have a tribal affiliation.)

This Scholarship is not about First Peoples--it's about the people who replaced them. It's about the stories we tell about the country we can only honor through progress, restitution, and acknowledgement. Amy Lowell's efforts to portray the lives of First Americans in her posthumously-published Ballades for Sale reveals the way in which primitivist stereotypes can underlie even the most progressive intentions.

As a naturalized US citizen whose parents risked their lives (and me) to flee Ceausescu's dictatorship, I cannot accept the sort of nativism which makes that citizenship somehow inferior to that of those who did nothing to gain citizenship. Being born in the USA is enough of a privilege without institutionalizing this privilege in a poetry scholarship intended to preserve the legacy of a powerful female poet whose struggled to be accepted in a country that rejected her sexuality.

I don't believe that any law or wrong is immutable.

I don’t believe that any foundation cannot change. I don’t believe a will or a trust housed in a law firm cannot evolve or develop under changing social conditions.

I don't believe that we are hostage to bad ideas from the past unless we deliberately choose to replicate and extend those ideas into the future.

I understand--and was reminded when protesting President's Bush's war in Iraq with a son incubating in my womb--that standing for the GOOD in one's country, as opposed to the bad, may render one "un-American" in the mouths of those whose institutions depend on historic preservation. If we spent as much money caring as we do bombing, this world would be so different. So very, very different.

What I believe conspires with what I understand in hope.

I hope more for the legacy of the "Amy Lowell Scholarship for American Poets Travelling Abroad". I hope more for how this “America” extends itself into the world. And I hope more--so much more--for this country.

Yours in poetry and hope,

Alina Stefanescu, minor writer

P. S. If this fellowship is modified to include all US citizens, I promise that I will not apply for it at any point in time. I want to be clear about my intentions—though I discovered this fellowship when looking for assistance, my hope is that fellow “second-class citizens'“ do not discover this and experience the nativist rejection (which already leaves deep scars in most naturalized citizens). I don’t want this for myself—I want it for what it means to be “American” at a time when that meaning is associated with anti-immigrant sentiment, racism, xenophobia, and committed disregard for human rights. I want it, also, for Amy Lowell’s legacy, which I know can be revised to include what we know now rather that to perpetuate ad-infinitum the cruelties and inequalities of the past.

Flashback on flash from what I was thinking in 2016

Flash, depending on the definer, can set its upper word limit anywhere between 500 words and 1,750 words. Usually any ceiling below this is classified as microfiction. Regardless-- and given that I'm in position to debate genre with those who know better-- here are the flash fictions I've been looping lately.  

"A Lack of Order in the Floating Object Room" by George Saunders (Hunger Mountain)

"Break It Down" by Lydia Davis (The Paris Review Book for Planes, Trains, and Elevators)

"Cutting Edge" by James Purdy (The Complete Short Stories of James Purdy, Liverwright, 2013)

"On the Edge of the Sidewalk" by Dumitru Tsepeneag (Waiting, Dalkey Archive, 2013)

"The Mariner: A Static Drama in One Scene" by Fernando Pessoa (The Brooklyn Rail)

"The School" by Donald Barthelme (Sixty Stories)

"This Person" by Miranda July (No one belongs here more than you: Stories)

"Tweet" by Sabrina Orah Mark (The Collagist)

"X unequals Y" by Susan Daitch (Storytown, Dalkey)

Also enchanted with Deb Olin Unferth's Minor Robberies published by McSweeney's. This book is my Mobius strip at the moment. 

Now for the super shorties, some of which might be classified as "micros", others which exist as just really excellent compressed fiction:

"Crazy" by Ron Hansen (She Loves Me Not, Simon & Schuster)

"Death and Life in the City of N." by Ron Gibson, Jr. (Noble Gas Quarterly)

"Exercises" by Bruce Taylor (Vestal Review)

"Marriage" by Anna Lea Jancewicz (Matchbook Lit)

"Wants" by Grace Paley (Electric Literature)

"When I Lose Track of the Children, 5 & 7, Near the Magazine Section at Costco" by Christopher Mercer (Smokelong Quarterly)

 

It's difficult to convey my gratitude to every daring, innovative, lyrical, difficult, and fascinating writer I discover on Twitter or in literary magazines which span the globe. Gratitude is abstract and heavy as Hallmark card stock paper.

On the other hand, it's not difficult to say this: You are my MFA. You are my teachers, my guides, my prods, and (sometimes) my provocations. I am so grateful for you. I am also beholden to my sweet wi-fi connection. Imagine all the writers that might exist given a laptop and a little wi-fi.  

What to add to a poem that acts "as if" it feels neglected

  1. An unexpected acorn.

  2. The movements of a mother’s face as she repudiates longsuffering.

  3. A long-suffering velvet recliner.

  4. An unexpected metaphor or description of joy. I’m thinking of when Ross Gay wrote that something “truly filled my heart with flamingos.”

  5. A subversion of the word “rapacious”.

  6. A hex.

  7. A historic earthquake or volcanic eruption that family members have mentioned.

  8. A Xerox copy of something.

  9. An explicit reference to another poem in which you are referring to a poem by someone else. In the poem about colored pencils.

  10. A furry mammal you haven’t anthropomorphized for the purpose of the poem or pleasure.

  11. A tired O. The opposite of an ecstatic O. An O that generates suspense.

  12. A line from a poem by Mary Jo Bang.

  13. The word “syntax” in scare quotes. Possibly with reference to a body part.

  14. A sin tax dressed up like a poll tax.

  15. An I-statement that suffers from non-sequitur.

  16. What Ross Gay calls “an event illegible except for its unfathomable beauty”. Which may involve fireflies.

  17. An invented business establishment or office. Like the “Bureau of Sad Endings” that appears midway through a poem by David Berman.

  18. The word “busted”.

  19. A melting glacier. Or any effect of climate change that appears quietly, desperately, ominously in the background.

  20. A risk management heat map.

  21. A word from R. A. Villanueva’s “Sonnet 146”.

  22. Something he said to you and never took back.

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The playlist poetry challenge: "You Being Boss of the Playlist"

It just sort of happened as I was doing small, mindless tasks in the house while listening to old playlists my hubcap made when we in some wild dalliance that wasn’t legit.

The thing is: this taught me to love Bruce Springsteen…. he sort of rug-burned Bruce into my skin and I never got over it. So here’s what I did.

I made a list of all Bruce’s songs and then wrote a poem that incorporated the titles on our old playlists. And then fiddled like a fresh-rain-licked fern with all the tiny pieces…

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The Playlist Poetry Challenge is so easy and fun—a perfect excuse to sit around and listen to nostalgia-inducing music on a muggy Saturday.

  1. Pick an old playlist (or just pick a favorite music artist) and make a list of song titles.

  2. Tell the song titles that you plan to use them as a word bank for a poem you will write. Don’t be sorry or apologetic. The songs want to be felt. You are doing those titles a favor.

  3. Write a poem that makes use of those titles. You can capitalize the titles (see above) to make it clear when you’re referencing the song. Alternately, you can putz around in italics. You can even use white space to draw lines in the sand between your words and what music makes of them.

  4. Title it with a name that hints at the artist or the playlist conceit.

  5. If the final result is HORRENDOUS, email it to family members who think you’re a terrible poet that is wasting their time in profit-less vocation. Make sure to preface the poem with a note saying something like: “OMG tonight I wrote this poem that was just SO INTENSE. I had to share it with you because I’m really proud of it and I hope it wins a prize. Maybe someone will read it on their talk show. Family, I think this is IT.”